So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Found your dick twin last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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