i just had sex bonerless
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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