HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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