Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So vagazzling was a success
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
