Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
