Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize