We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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