can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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