Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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