you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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