I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My bed smells like the plague
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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