im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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