Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
false alarm. still invincible.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
