Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
