dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
