Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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