Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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