the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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