margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i love accidental penises.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
