If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
NoShamevember. You game?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
