My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
