Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
