I smell stomach acid.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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