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• (212): View more from New York

  I'm drive I can fine osifer

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Shut the hell up.

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• (818): View more from California

  We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (530): View more from California

  No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.

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