We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You took a bar mat shot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!