is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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