i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
