One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Operation Purity has been aborted
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize