maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
honey bunches of taint.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize