You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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