I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
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