she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How does it feel to date your dad?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
