He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
