someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
