If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize