Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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