have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
