I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
