So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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