i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize