Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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