the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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