Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
