Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
