I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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