Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
