pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
