I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you had me at cake vodka
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
