maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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