How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
