You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize