Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize