Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
