So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
How external is "for external use only"?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
