so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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