at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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